DESTINY CONTROLS US

I have written very few personal articles about myself since starting this blog in January, but aside from my "American Idol" reviews I have not been inspired to write for some time. I have had a lot of things on my mind and feel that I should put them in writing. I am not afraid to share thus this will article will be a rant about my world.

After my mother, Rosellen, passed away in October of 2005, of a massive unexpected heart attack, I went through a very difficult time. We were very close and I shared everything with her. Aside from my brother she was virtually the only family I've ever really known. My father had a drinking problem when I was young, therefore my mother divorced him when I was 6 years old. We moved around a lot until I was 14 and I never maintained a relationship with my father.

I had a nervous breakdown a couple months after my mothers death and landed in the hospital for almost three weeks. On top of not being able to see my son or spend Christmas with him, because of the hospitalization, I also had to cancel all the classes I had enrolled in for that Semester, at Parkland College, as they would not release me from the hospital in time.

Two weeks after being home from hospital hell, I had a couple drinks, at a bar in a nearby town, on my way to meet a friend in Kankakee, IL. When I left the bar I started feeling really, really woozy,(still not sure what caused this) so I decided I should just go home instead. Two minutes away from my house a cop flies up on me out of nowhere, scares the hell out of me and pulls me over. Someone had called and said that I was driving drunk. Well yes, legally I was drunk, but at my weight one drink is legally drunk. So, to top it all off, I was given a DUI and treated like the dirt on the bottom of a shoe.

I am not against the DUI laws, although I feel they are a bit strict, but at that point I honestly had to ask "What in the hell am I even on this planet for...a f**kn punching bag?" Once again, all that I had worked for was flushed down the toilet because of one bad choice and an unidentified caller. If it were not for my son I very well might have ended my time on earth.

That was, needless to say, a very bad 3 months for me, but it was not the first time I had been knocked down, and it may not be the last. I would like to believe the saying "Life is what you make it", but that just isn't true. In fact, many things are beyond our control.

The funny thing is that I have somehow managed to keep my heart and mind open, despite the hardships life has presented me with. I'm still smiling. I have more to share with you, about this small town I live in, but I will save it for tomorrow. Thanks for reading.